Skip to main content

Proper cancer etiquette

So what is the proper etiquette when you are post-diagnosis for the third time with thyroid cancer and pre-surgery? Life as usual? Just keep going, doing your regular thing....sure, I guess. But the cancer is always "running" in the background. Not necessarily running the show but running. But life goes on so actually, yeah, really...life goes on.

On the flip side, I don't want to go through life for the next month sad and depressed. Of note, this is serious business, neck surgery for the third time. Mulitple surgical risks beyond the "usual" anesthesia concerns. I am most certainly anxious and scared.

So I'm wrestling with this....normal vs. cancer normal. It's been a while, just over three years since I have dealt with cancer and a recurrence. I wasn't ready for it...who is?

People have lots of advice on this and frankly, truly all meaning well. My husband said something wise to me tonight about this, and basically it goes like this - people say things to me often to make themselves feel better. Certainly not knowingly or with bad intentions, but I can see this happening. Like "it will be fine" or "you will have the surgery, and they will get it all this time." These statements could be true just as they could be false. Honestly, it depends on what mood I am in when it is said how I take it.

Advice aside, I've got to take care of me, and I'm struggling with it currently. If you are paying attention to the timing of this post, it is almost 3 AM on a Monday morning. I can't go to sleep at night. I struggle to stay awake during the day. It's a vicious cycle. What's the problem? My mind is constantly going....constantly. My body is tired and weary, really tired.

I'm praying for peace...and sleep.

Comments

  1. Sometimes we don't know what to say or do. I just want to hug you for a couple of minutes and tell you "whatever I can do to help".

    But I can't help. And hugging might just be creepy.

    I think of Morgan as much as I think of you. Wishing. Hoping. My prayers go unanswered but if you think it will help, I'll do that.

    I can be funny and make you laugh. Maybe for those few seconds you can have some relief.

    I am open to any other suggestions. I just hope you know many love and many like you and we are hoping we can help somehow. Hoping, and wishing, and yes, even praying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. People said crazy stuff to me after my husband died so I understand what you are talking about. I hope things turn out well for you. Maybe talk to your doc about some meds to help you sleep. Not sleeping is very unhealthy...I learned the hard way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi - A friend of Holly's here. I hope your treatment goes well and is painless and that you are DONE with cancer after this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. As someone who has just been told that I need a second surgery (but the nodes are too small to go after yet, 3 @ 3-4 mm), I know just how you feel about the cancer running in the background. I had 5 years of promising results after having 63 nodes taken (21+), so life had almost returned to normal before my tg drifted up a little. Good luck to you in your recovers, and I suppose good luck to me trying to explain to people what this is like, knowing you're not bound to die but just be tortured a little bit over the years by the 1% chance.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Quite a pay raise!

Today I received a press alert via email from my alma mater, Oklahoma State. Check out the first two paragraphs below: Following only the sixth nine-win regular season in school history, Oklahoma State University today announced a contract extension for head football coach Mike Gundy, giving him a new seven-year contract worth $15.7 million. The contract was announced following action by the OSU/A&M Board of Regents at its regular meeting in Miami. With the new contract, which is effective Jan. 1, 2009 and runs through December of 2015, Gundy’s average annual compensation will be more than $2.2 million. His current six-year contract paid him $1,053,000 this year. What the heck? That's quite a raise, and he didn't even beat OU, Texas, or Tech! Now, I went to OSU when Mike Gundy was the quarterback there. He was the quarterback during Barry Sanders' Heisman year. He seems like a nice guy and a great coach, but wow... In all fairness, I have to point out that I also read ...

More about batting a thousand...

Ah, I didn't really explain the "batting a thousand" reference in relationship to me when posting on the blog last night. Was still in a bit of a fog from the news I received from the ultrasound. A bit of history... Batting a thousand: 1. June 2008: ultrasound reveals suspicious nodules that should be biopsied. 2. July 2008: after biopsy confirms papillary carcinoma, neck ultrasound to look at lymph nodes finds suspicious lymph nodes. Post-surgery found out about the four positive lymph nodes, two of which were the size of small plums. 3. December 2008: Ultrasound post total thyroidectomy and neck dissection, small nodules found in the thyroid bed along with a suspicious lymph node. So in summary, every ultrasound I have had of my thyroid and neck this year has revealed something suspicious. Thus, I am batting 1,000 with the ultrasounds in 2008. Feeling rather bleh and crappy about it all today. It's Christmas...why do I have to deal with cancer again? Ugh.

On my soapbox about "the best cancer to have"

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I was on my soapbox this morning after reading yet another article about the dreaded subject of how thyroid cancer is "the best cancer to have." Think about that...the best cancer? Why would someone say that? In an attempt to make you feel better about having thyroid cancer, some health care profesionals try to convince those of us who have or have had thyroid cancer that it is "the best cancer to have" because it has a high survival rate. An aside here, that high survival rate applies to papillary carcinoma, one of the three types of thyroid cancer out there. Survival rates are lower for medullary carcinoma and anaplastic carcinoma, the other two types of thyroid cancer. Back on topic...OK, so tell us that papillary carcinoma has a high survival rate. Truly, that is good news. But because of this "best cancer to have" statement, and the fact that I was told my thyroidectomy would most likely be just an easy, ove...