Saturday, August 11, 2012

You're A Pain in the Neck

I have had three surgeries to remove thyroid cancer from my neck in four years. For the third time in four years, I have stabbing pains in my neck after surgery.

"It's a good thing. It's the nerves growing back and regenerating." This is what the surgeon said when I asked about it the first time. This information still does not prepare you for the first time you feel that stabbing pain in your neck, as if someone took the tip of a knive and stabbed you just enough for you to feel it.

So I should be prepared for them this time, right, as sadly I'm an old pro at this thyroid cancer business. I was prepared but still surprised when the stabbing pain returned.

Although it is a good thing, it is still a reminder. For me, it is as much of what I have been through as what could be.

I can't help but wonder if it is really over or if I am going to continue to be in the 30% sorority/ fraternity of those with recurrent thyroid cancer. More surgeries? Will I get a secondary cancer? Will I be in that small percentage of those who die from papillary carcinoma?

I don't know, and I'm not going to obsess over it. I can't. One day at a time....

So stabbing pains, keep on reminding me of what I've been through. Even if it is a foreshadowing  of what is to come as well, I'm ready. Done it before, can do it again.

1 comment:

  1. I have a love/hate relationship with the pain. I know it means healing, but it also means I hurt, I wake up with pain, I cringe when people hug me. I am three years past my last surgery and the pain is still there, from my ear to my right elbow, but now is only about a 1 out of 10.

    It has lessened through time, as you know, it's just so hard to be patient. May you find significant relief soon!