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Two steps forward, one step back

Everyday, I am feeling better in terms of my neck. The sore, sometimes random pains have mainly shifted from my ear/jawline to the actual incision, which is to be expected. Example: last night, it felt like someone was pricking my incision with straight pins. This is good, as I understand, as it means that the feeling is gradually starting to return to the area. If the pain is too intense, now I just take a dose or two of ibuprofen throughout the day for pain instead of percocet. Swelling has mostly gone down, but I do notice a little still.

Tomorrow is my post-op appointment with the surgeon. It has become a ritual of some sorts that my mom attends this appointment with me then, after Dr. Sanders takes off the last of the steri-strips remaining on the incision, they both curiously stare at the incision on my neck. This has happened with all three surgeries. In fact, my mom scheduled her flight back to Oklahoma on Saturday so she could attend the appointment with me and conduct said ritual with the surgeon.

The most exciting thing I believe he will say to me is that I can drive again. My poor mom has been braving the mean streets of Northern Virginia, the DC Beltway, and 66 driving me and Morgan around. As mom says, "Oh, the humanity of it all here!"

I'm struggling with my energy level more than anything now. I am trying to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, but I think my body is still demanding more rest and sleep. I am fighting this, trying to resume some sort of normalcy in my life. However, I did give in yesterday and take a two-hour nap mid-day.

The real issue is my trying to do normal things when I don't really feel quite normal yet. Maybe 60%-ish? It's coming along, but it is the dance of "Yes, I feel great!" and do too much, then crash. I want to push myself to get back to normal but just can't push it too far. Two steps forward and one back.

Good news? I'm here. Present and accounted for. Functioning. Moving forward each day. It's all I want right now in terms of my health.


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