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Out of sight, out of mind and a new endo

I believe that I have thought about cancer every single day since I was diagnosed since July 2008. Cancer survivors, is that strange? Does it stop at some point? Right now, I can't imagine a day without at least thinking about cancer or or thinking about being a cancer survivor.

Some of that may have to do with the "out of sight, out of mind" theory. Every morning I wake up and look at that scar on my neck. It's a celebration of life and a cancer reminder all rolled into one. In some regards, it will never be out of sight so I wonder if it will be "out of mind" ever.

I've mentioned the shooting pains in my neck before and how the surgeon says this is a good thing. The nerves are coming back to life. Yesterday, I had shooting pain like no other I can remember, even dating back to next summer. It felt like a stab and then twist and then hold it for what felt like an hour but turned out to be about 10 seconds. It brought me to near tears as Kenzie and I were on our way to Target. Luckily she was driving when this happened. It's a good thing, it's a good thing.

My energy level has bottomed out this weekend. At least I am optimistic it is on the way up. I'm hoping not to do much of anything and rest today.

Ah, and the great news: I have an appointment with a new endocrinologist! I called the one my surgeon recommended, and his office said that I could see him in July. July?! Nope, that won't work. I called my surgeon's office and asked if maybe they could call and get me an appointment, and I was able to get in on February 10th. I'm very pleased about this and will try not to cancel my appointment with "the doctor I don't like" with too much glee. :)


  1. A few things:

    So glad you are getting a new endo! You need one.

    While it is COMPLETELY different: I think about dealing with infertility all the time, it is just part of my life now. Somehow, when I try to push it out of my mind, it becomes all I can think about and then I get into a funk. So I decided to try and focus my energy fighting it, instead of trying to forget it everytime it pops in my mind. Can't say I always succeed, but it works part of the time. (Does this make any sense?)

    I nearly passed out one day pulling up a pair of hose b/c I had one of those nerve growing back cramps (post old-fashioned gall bladder surgery). They are awful! I can't imagine how much more your must be struggling as yours happen in your throat.

    Still praying for you! Is your family safe from the fires in OK?

    Jennifer (from church)

  2. Just catching up on you today...missing you terribly at the old job, but could not be more thrilled for your new start. Glad you are up on your feet and recovering nicely. Hope to see you soon!


  3. This blog entry reminds me of something I wrote about my cancer in October 2008.

    Perhaps you are interested:


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