I have found myself in a cleaning frenzy lately. My house is not filthy, folks, so maybe it is not cleaning but more decluttering. Today I gave away nine bags of stuff to one of the local charities that sends me emails and says nice things like, "Do you want us to come to your house and take away all of that crap that your family doesn't use anymore but you don't want to throw away?" I say things like, "Why, yes I do!"
So the past few days I have mainly worked on my desk area, the basement, our game cabinet, and my closet and managed to find nine bags worth of stuff to give away. I even cleverly convinced youngest daughter tonight to take a small portion of her thousands of stuffed animals (OK, a bit of a high estimate...) and put them in a large clear bin for safe keeping.
Yes, this all has needed to be done for months, but I have realized what all of this cleaning and decluttering is all about...my biopsy is Monday. When I am worried, I clean. As much as I tell myself, "Oh, I know the drill, know how this is going to go," or my other favorite, "I am planning on it being cancer and will be pleasantly surprised if it is not," I am pretty overwhelmed with the fact that I might have to do surgery and treatment again. I just finished cancer crap once and now again?!
Today is Friday. Biopsy is Monday. Do I want to hurry up and get it over with? Or would I rather freeze time and "enjoy" this last bit of time before I start it again? Doesn't matter...can't do either one.
What do I know this time around?
- I can do this. I've done it once before.
- If I need surgery, Dr. Sanders is one of my favorite doctors ever.
- There is a really supportive community of friends and family out there praying, checking on me, reading my blog, following me on Twitter, and just generally being great.
Yes, I can do this.
Quick sidebar: I am happy to report that the girls have returned safe and sound from Oklahoma. About twice a year, they venture to Oklahoma to see grandparents. Two of three sets of grandparents live there, mine in Norman and ex-husbands' in Guymon. This time, they flew in/out of Amarillo to visit their Guymon grandparents and had a great time.