Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thyroid cancer – round 2, feeling “fine”

It’s been an interesting week of cancer recovery that has included inauguration of a new President and quitting my job. I feel better, but please don’t mistake that to think everything is “fine.” Well, it is as fine as it can be having cancer surgery twice in seven months. I’m alive, feel exhausted, my neck is very sore…OK, I’m fine.

This is when the emotional stuff came in last time, when I started feeling “fine.” Not so much the “why me?” but “what’s next?” As much as I try to take off my worry hat, it is firmly affixed to my head. I’ve had the recurrence now less than a year later. Will I have a recurrence to the recurrence next? When will the stabbing pains stop in my neck (It’s a good thing, it’s a good thing…)? When do I settle in with the "cancer survivor" title again? Am I question talker? Sorry, a Scrubs reference, but I digress...

My post-op appointment is tomorrow morning. I look forward to seeing what the surgeon has to say about my incision. He will uncover it for the first time then. It is swollen and sore, but I have not had a look at it since he opened it back up again a week ago. One thing is for sure: it just can’t be as surprising as it was last summer when I saw it for the first time. I really couldn’t believe my eyes, how shocking it was to me.

About quitting my job…I start a new job as Website Content Manager at a veterans’ organization on Monday. I know it seems crazy to start a new job when tackling cancer yet again, but it was time. I just did it and am looking forward to the new position. It will be the first time I am not working in a hospital or cancer organization in about seven years. I think it is time for this change for me.

However, I will certainly continue to be an advocate for those with cancer. Through posts on the Stupid Cancer Blog to involvements in other groups, I will be involved in the cancer community, just not primarily through my work now but through me, a cancer survivor.

2 comments:

  1. Your new job sounds interesting. If you say it was time for a change, I am sure it was. Thinking about you and praying that all will be well.

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  2. Thank you for visiting (and your kind comment on) my blog. I am sorry that you have to face this illness and its treatment, but I am glad that you have hope, good questions, strength and love. I will be back to visit again. I pray that you will be in remission (and feeling better) soon!

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