Monday, January 19, 2009

Yes, I'm blogging at 1:30 AM

I'm really up at 1:30 AM blogging. I can't sleep either because of the stabbing pain on the right side of my neck four days post-op of my second thyroid cancer surgery or because my mind is racing because of all of the things I'm thinking about such as (in no particular order):
  • why do I have this stabbing pain in my neck tonight?
  • why do I have to go through this cancer business not once but twice now?
  • why can't I go to sleep?
  • why didn't we see on ultrasound the other two lymph nodes that were positive for cancer that were found by my surgeon (we saw one but not three)? Are there more?
  • am I going to have to do this again?
  • why am I complaining about my cancer when there are others out there struggling more with their cancer?
  • when should I jump ship from "the doctor that I don't like?"
OK, that's all of the questions (and whining) I have for now. Discuss amongst yourselves. Feel free to comment as you would like.

I'm off to go watch some bad TV and hope to drift off to sleep.

3 comments:

  1. You're doing those things because you are human, but too good to go wake someone else up and bawl your eyes out like you have every right to do. I can't answer a single one of your questions except one. Ditch the doctor you don't like as soon as you find one just as good who is an easier doctor to like......House may be brilliant on t.v., but that doesn't make it right to be, what? Kindness is underrated. It costs nothing and you deserve it a thousand fold. Hang in there.

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  2. I agree, ditch the doc if you're not clicking. Ask around for referrals; there has to be one who has the combination of skill, experience and "bedside manner" that's right for you.

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  3. Hey C-
    Hope you're doing much better today...we sure miss you here...especially me!

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